Exploration and Settlement of Virginia by John Smith

Author:John Smith [Smith, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General, Travel, History, United States, State & Local, New England, Virginia, Colonial Period (1600-1775), Americas (North; Central; South; West Indies), America - Discovery and Exploration - British, Virginia - History - Colonial Period; Ca. 1600-1775, South (AL; AR; FL; GA; KY; LA; MS; NC; SC; TN; VA; WV), Expeditions & Discoveries, America, New England - History - Colonial Period; Ca. 1600-1775
ISBN: 9781598530018
Publisher: Library of America
Published: 2007-03-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18:

BUG-EYE THIS!

Queen Ferns applauded as the Bug-Eyed Monster from the lagoon was about to eat Constance. Her guards cheered like fans at the Big Game! Brass bodices, short skirts, all they needed to make the picture complete would be pompoms.

"Not so fast!" Proton shouted at the B.E.M., firing a shot into the side of the monster, aiming for the base of the tentacle that was holding Constance.

The Bug-Eyed Monster twitched, then paused, Constance just a foot away from its open, saliva-dripping jaws!

Constance tried to scream, but- she was so afraid nothing came out.

As he ran toward the monster, Captain Proton fired again, this time holding the blast longer, again at the base of the tentacle holding Constance.

The monster twitched again, then shifted Constance to another tentacle, all the while holding her a good ten feet in the air!

The smell of cooking squid drifted in the air from his two shots. But it was going to take a lot more heat than his gun was capable of before this fish would be anything but sushi.

Proton ran right up under the monster!

The thing smelled of rot and evil! No wonder Queen Ferns liked it here!

The tentacle holding Constance moved her to one side and Captain Proton saw his opening!

He fired point blank right up past the monster's soft underbelly at the left, red bug-eye.

Pop!

The eye exploded like a dam bursting!

Red fluid sprayed out over the beach, covering Queen Ferns and her handmaidens sitting on the sand.

They all screamed!

The fluid smelled like really, really sour milk.

The monster screamed, a loud, roaring noise that seemed to cut to Captain Proton's bones.

Now it was a One-Bug-Eyed Monster! An O.B.E.M.

But it still hadn't released Constance! She was swinging around in the air like she was on an out-of-control carnival ride.

Captain Proton quickly took careful aim to not hit his secretary, then fired again when his opening came.

Pop! .

The second bug-eye exploded, sending more rotten-milk-smelling red fluid up the beach and over Queen Ferns. Luckily both eyes explosions missed him and Constance.

This time the No-Longer-Bug-Eyed Monster dropped Constance as its tentacles whipped around face and empty eyes.

Captain Proton took two quick steps to the side and caught her!

Perfect catch! One arm under her legs, other arm under her back. Textbook hero catch of a falling damsel.

Quickly he backed away up the beach as the monster screamed and screamed and screamed!

Then slowly it retreated back into the depths of the lagoon.

Except for a few "Oh pews! Yucky! Ickey!" from Queen Ferns and her guards, the beach was silent.

Captain Proton put Constance down with a quick hug, then turned to the red-smeared and very smelly Queen Ferns.

"You will pay for this, Captain Proton!" she screamed, trying to wipe off the sticky eye-gunk.

Proton held his gun directly on her. "I don't think you have much to say about anything anymore, dear Queen."

She snorted, but had enough sense to not challenge him at the moment. She went back to trying to wipe off the smelly pink eye fluid.

Captain Proton had no idea what he was going to do with her and her six guards.

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